A couple of months ago our little family participated in an autism awareness/fundraiser walk associated with Master Bubble's school. It was a battle to begin with but we made it the whole way around and walked away feeling like we had achieved something. As we crossed the finish line though our work was only just beginning.
Sensory overload and tiredness are not a good combination in The Bubbly One- it makes him move even more as he tries to orient himself. So when he saw his teacher selling raffle tickets and wanted to hang out near her I was more than happy to do so as opposed to chasing him through everybody's picnic lunches and anywhere near the large lake. In between stealing the ice from the eskys they were selling drinks from he caught a glimpse of a remote control helicopter which was one of the prizes in the raffle. Well, he wanted it. His teacher, who is a gem, removed it from the situation before it escalated further, we plied him with lemonade and ice to distract him and I bought a heap of tickets, never expecting to win. Well, we won, but too late to choose the helicopter, and what should catch my eye but a voucher for family photos at one of those places that does your hair and make up and then charges you an obscene amount for your photos. I picked it up thinking "We've never had a family shoot and we keep saying that we should while The Little One is still little". I say I was thinking- but clearly I wasn't.
We were very pleased with our prize and quit while we were ahead, taking the boys home (The Bubbly One was asleep in two minutes). I went straight in the next day to talk tactics with the studio. The plan would be that Daddy and I would go to get prettied up with The Little One and my mum would bring The Bubbly One to the studio in time for the photos equipped with bubbles, music, bribery tools, etc. I did my best to explain The Bubbly One, his sensory issues and his hyperactivity to the guy taking the booking, and he did his best to understand. He even tried to reassure me that they've had experience shooting kids with autism before. I left feeling okay, even optimistic about the entire venture. My biggest concern was what we would wear.
Fast forward a couple of months, the shoot is on Saturday and I am freaking out. The Bubbly One, while getting more sleep thanks to Melatonin, now has even more energy to burn. His behaviour is all over the place and I just can't pick what is going to be a good day and what isn't. His sensory issues have intensified to include sensory seeking with pretty much any substance his body produces, extreme fussiness about what he will wear, just running everywhere, and his tantrums now include hitting out. Add to this he is noise and sound sensitive with a fear of mechanical noises (e.g. hairdryers) and I am asking myself what the hell I was thinking booking us in for a photo shoot?!
The pre-shoot consultation last week did nothing for my stress levels either. Again, I tried to explain about The Bubbly One and prepare them for the fact that they will have only minutes to get a shot of the four of us (if we can get him in the door). The woman just didn't get it. "It's really nice that your mother is coming to care for the children". Umm no, she is the evacuation plan for when the proverbial hits the fan. "It'll be fine if you don't stress out. If mum is stressed she always looks it in the photos". Great, thanks for the tip.
Then there's the "styling". "Do you wear make up?". Well, there went the rest of my self esteem. I'd been up since 1am with children that wouldn't sleep after a week with Daddy Bubble away. I was wearing shitloads of make up in a bid to look just a little bit alive- and evidently I still looked like crap! My hair got a look. Could I straighten it before coming in? What were we going to wear? Cue screwed up nose because I said we wanted- wait for it- colour. Apparently the old white shirt and jeans combo is just the done thing. How many outfit changes would we be doing? Um none, Master Bubble won't change clothes once they're on and I'm six months post childbirth, still breastfeeding and not much fits right now. No, I can't go and buy a few new outfits, I've seen your price list.
"Okay, let's talk about the packages. We have a number of great value packages starting from around $1500, but most people go for the iPad package. It's only $3500 and you get an iPad, loaded with 10 photos and your prints in an album. You'll want to bring your credit card." Seriously? I've just told this lady that I have a severely autistic child (whose iPad will probably be in our photos), a six month old baby and we're a single income household! Didn't I tell her that we won our package and that we'd be thrilled if they got just one shot with the four of us in the frame? Didn't I tell her the battle plan we'd devised to try to get that one single shot? Well, I politely said that it would not be possible for us to spend that much money on photos, and could I please see the prices on single prints. No, not mounted and framed, just prints.
I did well, I kept a straight face. Then I picked up my shredded self esteem off the floor, thanked her and left.
Stay tuned for Part Two, this Saturday. :-/
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