Followers

Saturday 23 July 2016

How To Get Your Mother Out Of Bed- by The Little One

First give your mother ample opportunities to get up, and stay up. That bed is like a magnet that keeps drawing her back. Enlist the help of your musical friends. They may be thrown into hard to reach places, but these casualties will return in due time (besides, there's plenty more in Bubbly's room). 

Be kind and accept the food she makes you graciously. If it's not to your liking then release it to some poor soul who likes to eat off the floor. The food's always gone soon enough so they must be well-nourished.

Attempt independence. After all, she spends hours of her week on just that with you. Slowly drag a chair towards that high up food or musical item. Climb onto the bench. Safety first so alert her to the fact that you're stretching your horizons and knock something over, preferably the sugar. We haven't had ants for a while. 

If all else fails and she still returns to bed, appear angelically by her bedside. Stroke her cheek and unleash your most devastatingly cute smile (you'll need full eye contact for this one. I know, it's hard, but it's important). Then if she still rolls over and hides under the blankets gently place the full water bottle (sans lid that you broke last week) on the bed beside her. The gentle flow of icy water seeping into her clothing, pillows and mattress protector will ensure she is yours for the rest of the morning.